O hai Zoe!

Sonus.

2011-08-30T14:15:00.003+01:00

Yeah, I know my last blog was all like "I'LL NEVER USE THIS AGAIN. FAREWELL!"....but this is more of a promotional blog than a "what's going on in my life right now" blog...

Basically, my boyfriend has a band called Sonus with three other lovely chaps, and they're really good (and I'm not just being biased because I'm dating and sleeping with the lead guitarist), and you should all listen to them by clicking on this:

http://www.soundcloud.com/sonus_uk/tracks

And if you have Facebook, and you like them, you should also add them by clicking on this:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sonus/226753504035404

Thank you, lovely people. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Au revior.

2011-08-16T12:31:00.003+01:00

Since I began this blog in December 2008, I've wrote a total of 234 posts. (This post being my 235th). I was 16 years old when I began. I've wrote about countless friends and "lovers"; ones that I have lost on the way and others that are still in my life. I've complained about my performing arts education and motivation towards it, and also wrote about my passion for it. I've posted poetry and song lyrics and pictures that represented my life at that moment in time.

This place has been my outlet for nearly three whole years, but it's gotten to the point where I post something less that once a month. My only excuse for this is that I struggle these days to sit down in front of my computer and try and put my life in words. I love writing and I love letting the world know about everything that goes on around me, however mundane it can be sometimes, but I guess I'm growing up now and I don't feel the need to document on here every tiny thing that happens to me.

So much drama still goes on in my life. At the moment, Emma Cox, who was one of my best friends at college is no longer really in my life because of her actions these past 10 months or so. Jamie Glen, my current boyfriend, is still probably the most important person in my life right now, and I am madly in love with him. I have a good job at a pub that I love at this moment in time, but I'll be losing that at the beginning of 2012, which scares me. I miss my best friend, Rory Campbell, who now lives in Essex, and Hattie Partington and Tom Self are two people in my life right now who I couldn't live without, even though Tom is moving to London at the beginning of September. However, even though all of this is happening, I don't feel the urge to tell you any more. I used to find it helpful. Therapeutic, even. But I guess these days, I prefer to just live it and talk about it out loud, rather than typing it out and letting the world in.

It's crazy to look back at old things I have wrote and think about how much my life has changed drastically. I've learned so many life lessons because of everything I've been through, and if it wasn't for every little fall, I wouldn't be who I am today and have the people in my life that I care about dearly.

I'm not saying I'll never write on here again, but I'm just telling you not to expect anything on here anymore.
This isn't really goodbye. This is more of a thank you. I don't know who still reads this, but for anyone out there who does, I appreciate you following the rollercoaster that has been, and still is, my life.

Maybe one day I'll find a use for this again, but for now, I bid you all a farewell. :)

BIG heart, Zoe. x

You're the northern wind; sending shivers down my spine.

2011-07-02T13:00:00.004+01:00

It's been a while. Too long, maybe? I'm not going to sit here and fill you in, in detail, about what I've been up to. But, I've had a birthday, been through a break up, been through a make up, finished college, had fun times out, and just generally been enjoying my life.

All I'm really going to say is that this boy...

...means more to me than anything right now.

Loving life. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Rolling in the deep.

2011-05-25T20:31:00.003+01:00

I'm on costume and wardrobe for this year's FMP at my college, which means I have to find/hire/buy/make/steal every single piece of costume for every single character.
Bearing in mind, there are a lot in Into the Woods.

I'm loving it at the moment, but I'm finding that once I get home from a long day of sewing and labelling and finding and sorting all the costumes, that my brain just doesn't switch off. I remember waking up several times in the middle of the night last night and having dreams about all of these costumes.

Seriously, it's taking over my life right now... But I am enjoying it, after constantly complaining about college these past however many months. It's a fun thing to end on.

There's not much else to fill you in on. My life literally is just college, my boyfriend and work right now. It's going well at the moment. :) I smile more than I do mope around at the moment.

Also, it's my birthday in one month and four days. I'm weirdly excited, even though I don't have plans yet. However, I heard 19 is a shit year to be. Is this true? Sounds about right, really.

Anyway, I'm going to get back to typing up costumes lists.

It just goes on, and on, and on.......

Heart, Zoe. x

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.

2011-05-09T22:37:00.003+01:00

It's been WAY too long.

I've been spending my time recently attempting college work, and failing. Let's put it this way: I have two big assignments due in on Thursday, and I'm only halfway through completing both. I have no free time from now until Thursday to do any. I should have done some today, but I didn't because QWOP and sanding my jeans to make holes and buying Kina Grannis and Jack Wills Polo tickets and watching Teen Mom 2 and texting Jamie seemed a lot more important, which, tbh, they are.
I've pretty much given up with college assignments. I'll get them done, but just in my own time.

Also, it's Rock Show 2011 tomorrow and Wednesday at 7pm. £4/£6. BUY TICKETS. It should be a good show. It's going to be the last time I ever perform on that college stage, and I am determined to go out with a bang.

As always, I've been spending lots of time with Jamie. He continues to put such a smile on my face, and I'm at my happiest when I'm with him. Things are going well. :) He's pretty amazing.

I'm resigning from Snakes and Ladders tomorrow morning, as I have this new job at the Flowing Well pub in Sunningwell, thanks to Hattie. It's better hours and better pay, so I'm not going to pass up that opportunity. :D

Um... YEAH. That's about it really. Apart from college work, things are pretty good right now! :)

I'll check in again sometime soon, I'm sure.
Sorry for being the worst blogger ever.

Heart, Zoe. x

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

2011-04-17T19:59:00.002+01:00

I'm currently just chilling at my darling boyfriend's house. Since the last post, John and Jamie (and now new resident Abi) finally got internet. :) Jamie is at band practice at the moment, so I have stolen his laptop. He was also stupid and left his Facebook logged in, resulting in my fraping him about how much he loves Justin Bieber. I could and would have done a lot worse, but my mum is friends with him on Facebook, so I thought I should keep it clean.

John is making a lovely roast for us four, like the lil' family we are. :) He also just made me a pretty good cup of tea. What a lovely person he is.

Anyway...yeah. On our Easter holiday, which is lovely, because right now, going to college is the last thing I want to do. I do, however, have a lot of college work to do before I go back which I have yet to begin...so maybe I should actually begin very, very soon, otherwise before I know it, Easter will be over and I'll be back at college getting my brain raped by my teacher for not doing it. (Obviously, not literally)

So far I've just worked at my wonderful job that I love so very much (so not lying...*ahem*) and seeing Jamie and seeing friends. Next week, I'm seeing Della and catching up with her, working a bit more, going to the dentist, and also spending a day with Hattie, which I can't wait for. :D
Notice how I didn't mention college work... Ha.

Looking forward to the rest of the holidays, anyway. :)

Feeling pretty good at the moment.
Have wonderful friends, a wonderful family, a wonderful boyfriend and things to look forward to. :)

Hope all is well with everyone!

Heart, Zoe. x

Stand by me.

2011-03-28T16:58:00.002+01:00

So...it's been a while. I have no excuse really. I've hardly been at home which has meant no access to the internet, as I spend far too much time at Jamie's house, which isn't really a bad thing considering I like his house, his company, and John's cooking. However, I thought I'd update you as I'm currently at home and have some free time. I should be doing college work, but when do I ever do college work when I'm supposed to?

I haven't really been doing anything exciting with my life recently... Just enjoying the sunshine that we seem to be getting a lot of at the moment, which is always good because the sunshine always puts me in a good mood. :) I hope it stays... I'm sick of being cold and wearing coats and carrying around umbrellas and worrying about what my hair's going to look like when I'm walking down the street and the wind is vicious. Yeah.

I'm just in that Honeymoon period with Jamie at the moment, so all my life seems to revolve around right now is him, which is lame, but true... However, he makes me happy and smiley and spending time with him is THE thing that puts me in a great mood at the moment. Right now, I couldn't ask for anyone better.

College sucks at the moment. I don't really enjoy going in and it seems like it's more of a chore than anything else, which is a shame really...but what can you do? I'm hoping it will change, but right now, I live for the weekends...
I can't wait to get out of education full stop, really.. Education and assignments and finding motivation just makes me want to chunder everywhere right now.

Um... Yeah... I'm not doing too badly, though. :) Bring on the summer, that's all I'm saying...

Heart, Zoe. x

Czech me out.

2011-03-14T13:18:00.007Z

So, I'm back from Prague. It's an absolutely stunning place, and there were so many good times. :) Also, it's unbelievable how cheap the alcohol is. Beer there is cheaper than water. It's crazy. I didn't like going to the pub and paying £5 for a double G&T when over there, I could get a litre of really nice dark ale for 80p...
Thanks to Megan, Luke and Hana for the photos. I stole them from Facebook and they're just a few of my favourite ones. :)

Real update soon.

Heart, Zoe. x

I guess he's Xbox, and I'm more Atari.

2011-03-06T20:56:00.002Z

I'm off to Prague in five and a half hours time, and I won't be back until Friday morning...

I haven't updated this in a while because I've been too busy spending numourous amounts of time performing The Jungle Book to small children and seeing my wonderful new boyfriend. So...sorry about that.

But I'm sure after Prague, I will have a lot to write about, and maybe some cheeky pictures of some Prague things. :)

Hope all is well, bloggers.

Heart, Zoe. x

Red wine lips.

2011-02-21T17:52:00.002Z

Stolen from Ross. Mega bored.

1. First person under J on your mobile phone?
Jack. :)

2. Do you hate that person?
No, not at all. Jack's a good ol' boy. :)

3. Who was the last person you took a picture with?

Hattie...kind of.. ;)

4. When did your last hug take place?
About half an hour ago, or so.

5. Ever been in love?
Yes.

6. When was the last time you smiled?
Like...now? :)

7. Does anyone like you as more than a friend?

Yusssss.. :)

8. What is something you really want right now?
A hug from someone special.

9. How many true friends do you have?
Like...three.

10. What is the last thing you put in your mouth?
A bit of Hattie's peanut butter cookie. OMNOM.

11. Do you prefer to call or text?
I don't really mind. :)

12. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?

Gibbo.

13. Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
Yes.

14. Have you ever told anyone you were OK when you really weren’t?

Yes.

15. Does the number 17 have any signifigance to you?

Not reeeally, no.

16. Be honest, do you like people in general?
Meh...

17. Do you like anyone?
Yes. :)

18. Do you like your first name?
Yeah, s'alright! Could be worse.

19. Would you ever forgive someone if they cheated on you?
Nope.

20. Do you regret doing something today?
Nope.

21. Do you talk a lot?
Sometimes.

22. Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

23. When was the last time you cried?
I don't even remember, for once!

24. Do you ever get "good morning" texts from anyone?
Yes I dooooo... :)

25. Where is your phone?
Resting on my knee, lolol.

26. Have you done anything embarrassing lately?

Aha, probably.

27. Will you be up before 7am?
No way.

28. What is something you disliked about your day?
It was tiring.

29. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
I woke up at like...6am, which is two hours before my alarm. That was not cool.

30. Do you hate being alone?
Meh, sometimes.

31. When's your birthday?
29th June.

32. Ever been told "it’s not you, it's me"?
Hahaha, yeah.

33. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
Yeah. :) Like..now?

34. Can you recall the last time you boned someone a lot?
LOL. UHHHH. LOL.

35. Do you have any saved texts?
Nooo.

36. What's irritating you right now?
Not much, tbh! :)

37. Have you ever told someone to their face they were ugly?
Lol, no. That's just mean.

38.Whats on your bed right now?
I don't know...um...probably my dressing gown and one of my ukuleles.

39. What's your favourite word or phrase?
I say "douche" waaay too much.

40. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Jamie, Hattie and Megan.

41. What were you doing at 8am this morning?
Waking up....again...

42. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Like...walking through my door?

43. What is your favourite holiday?
Christmas.

44. Have you ever been to another country?
Yes.

45. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"AHHHHHH!"....no joke.

46. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Choclit.

47. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Some craaazy cocktail. It was tasty.

48. What are you wearing right now?
Black tights, black high-waisted shorts, flowery top, grey cardigan.

49. What was the last thing you ate?
A bit of one of Hattie's peanut butter cookies.

50. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.

51. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Football in the pub earlier for like...3 minutes, hahaha!

52. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Italy.

53. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on facebook?
Megan. :)

54. Ever go camping?
Rarely.

55. Do you have a tan?
No, lol.

56. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
Actually, no! Haha!

57. Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
Loads.

58. What did your last text message say?
";) x"

59. Are you someone's best friend?
Yeah. :)

60. What are you doing tomorrow?
College from 9:30am - 6pm, and then seeing "Paul" with Jamie. :)

61. Where is your mum right now?
In bed.

62. Look to your left, what do you see?
The fireplace, a clock, loads of envelopes.

63. What color is your watch?
I don't have a watch.

64. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kangaroooos. :)

65. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yeah maaan.

66. What is your birthstone?
I don't know, and I cba to look it up.

67. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Usually go in.

68. Do you have any friends on Facebook that you actually hate?
Yeah, LOL.

69. Do you have a dog?
Nope.

70. Any plans today?
Sleep? Afterall, it is 11:55pm.

71. Are you happy?
YES. :D

72. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Jungle Book...

73. Last song listened to?
Red Wine Lips by Lisa Mitchell.

74. Last movie you saw?
Shallow Hal. :)

75. Are you allergic to anything?
Penecillin.

76. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My brown ankle boots. :)

77. Are you jealous of anyone?
Meh, no...not really.

78. Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it!

79. Do any of your friends have children?
Nope, lol.

80. Do you eat healthy?
I'm not the best, but I'm okay! I do try.

81. What do you usually do during the day?
College.

82. Do you hate anyone right now?
Yeah, lol.

83. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yeah.

84. How many kids do you want when you're older?
I don't knowwww.

85. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
19. :)

86. How did you get one of your scars?

By cutting myself on a cushion. HA.

87. Did I run out of questions?

Apparently so.

Well...that wasted a good 10 minutes or so!

News: Zoe is in a relationship.
Zoe is happy. :)
HAPPY ZOZ.

Heart, Zoe. x

Tear down your barricades so I may enter.

2011-02-13T11:18:00.003Z

Oh, maaan... I've been drinking so much recently, which is completely unlike me. Last week (the week of the 31st of January - the 6th of February) I had three hangovers, and whilst writing this, I'm nursing myself back to health from a crazy night at Megan's last night.
I'm not really complaining. The nights I've had have been worth the turmoil I get the next day.

I've also been brushing up on my ukulele skills quite a lot recently. It's such an addictive thing. It's all I ever really want to do these days, and when I don't have either Genevieve, Noah or Spongebob, I crave them to buggery.

You never know, I might be in The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain one day. ;) Watch this space.

Anyway... This is literally a short entry today. A quick check in to let you know that I'm still alive and everything... I would write more but my eyes are slowly closing from the lack of sleep, so I don't really want this post to finish with random letters and numbers and punctuation from where I've literally passed out and my head's just slumped on the keyboard, so I think I'll stop typing now...

Hope you're all well. A real post soon, I promise.

Heart, Zoe. x

Come with me to the sea of love.

2011-01-28T18:52:00.003Z

Hi. Long time, no blog. Well, if you consider like...a week 'long', which I do. It feels like forever.
My life at the moment just revolves around college, and all of my friend's lives revolve around drama school and auditions. It's a sad state of affairs.

I finally finished my Confusions assignments. It's a shame that Tony had set us two MORE assignments before the Confusions assignments were due in.... I have an essay to do for Monday, and I highly doubt that's going to happen.
Not to mention the fact I am ill to buggery right now. I can feel it's the beginning of a horrendous cold. I can't wait.

We're working towards The Jungle Book at college at the moment. It's a bit of a fail at the moment, and I'm really hoping it gets better considering I'm Mowgli, and that will be crazily embarrassing if it goes tits up. Although, I managed to convince Tony that I should play the ukulele in it. This excites me. :D
Oh, and me and my friend Tom have our own radio show at college, starting next Wednesday. We're going to be talking about our lives, and Eastenders, and musicals, and whatever else we fancy talking about at the time. Oh, and playing some kick-ass music, because our music taste is wonderful. It's going to be banter, and I can't wait.

Anyway, that's my life right now. Stressful and busy. D:

Congratulations to my lovely friends Diarmaid and Matt for getting a full place at ALRA. :) SO happy for them right now.
And happy birthday to Rory. He's 20. That's a scary thought. I miss him tons. :(

Heart, Zoe. x

Spit at stars.

2011-01-21T16:22:00.003Z

Happy Friday afternoon! Currently lounging on the sofa listening to a bit of Every Time I Die. I am so unbelievably stressed right now. I have so much college work to do, it's insane. I really shouldn't be writing this. I should be on Microsoft Word 2010, writing about fresnel lanterns and flood lanterns and profile lanterns and parcan lanterns and followspots and colour gels and gobos and how amazing all of these things are and how they work and what they do and etc etc etc...

But, of course, I'm procrastinating...like I have been doing for the past four hours since I've been home. I never learn.

Last night I stayed at Jack's. He had a free house so a load of us lovely college people went around to his and had merry, drunken times. It was a good night. I think the highlight was Matt and I going on chatroulette and doing some ukulele improv to random people. It was definitely a night I needed to help relieve the stress I have right now.

But, anyway...yeah. Things are alright. Just need to get all of this delightful work out of the way and then I'll feel a lot better.
Oh, but before I go, Jack showed me this insane video last night and I literally haven't stopped watching it since.

Enjoy!

Heart, Zoe. x

Challenge Day.

2011-01-16T21:57:00.002Z

I watched this programme today called "If You Really Knew Me". I went into watching it not knowing anything about it at all. It was on MTV, and I like most of the programmes that I probably shouldn't on MTV, so I thought "hey, why the fuck not?"

Basically, it's a programme about this organisation in America called "Challenge Day". Challenge Day addresses common issues that are seen at most schools, such as cliques, bullying, negative judgements, sexism, racism, homophobia, sterotypes, hopelessness and hidden pressures to fit in, create an image and achieve or live up to the expectations of others.

"If You Really Knew Me" follows people's journeys as they participate in Challenge Day, and you get to see the change in people and see people open up about their lives and their struggles, and how they begin to accept everyone into their lives... You get to see a community come together as one.

It was a really interesting thing to watch. I disliked school a lot, and it made me think that if we had this organisation come to my school whilst I was there, maybe it would have changed my experience a lot. Maybe it would have made me enjoy school a lot more... You wouldn't have to be afraid to walk down the corridor and be judged. You could talk to anyone you wanted to, without the pressure of having to hide who you really are.

I wish we had a Challenge Day in England. I think the whole movement is a pretty genius idea.

Just a thought on this Sunday evening.

http://www.challengeday.org/

Heart, Zoe. x

Timshel.

2011-01-16T00:01:00.006Z

It's Saturday night. Well...Sunday morning if you want to be technical about it, which I do.

I don't have much to say, so I'm just going to SHARE THE LOVE.

Side note: Before I wrote "SHARE" just then, I accidentally wrote "SHAKE" instead. Oops.

So, I'm here to "shake" the love, apparently...

To do this, I'm showing you this video of a cover of Timshel by Mumford and Sons, which is a sweet as a nut song.

I wish I could say this was my cover and I just suddenly became amazing at guitar and amazing at singing to a camera, but it's not... But enjoy anyway. It's by Kina Grannis and her sisters, so you know it's going to be good. And if you don't know, then just trust me when I say it's going to be good. Because it is.

You're all very welcome.

Heart, Zoe. x

Save me from me.

2011-01-12T03:49:00.004Z

Just something random before I turn off my laptop and go to bed...

You know that whole "The Game" thing? That "Ohhh, I just lost the game", and then everyone around you is like "ohhh, you're such a dick because you made me think of it and now I've lost it too. Boo hoo hoo"... You know, yeah?

I really hate it.

I'm that person who, when in that situation, will go "well...I didn't because I don't play it because it's a pile of wank", and then I get:

"YEAH, BUT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD PLAYS THE GAME, SO YOU HAVE LOST IT ACTUALLY."

And then, that person gets a punch in the face for being a douche. If I don't want to play your shitty game that makes no sense and isn't really a game because 1) it has no skill and 2) you can't actually win it, then I won't. So go away.

I don't know. Just a random thought I had at...3:54am.

In other news, I just bought a Jack Will's jumper and a pair of Jack Will's underwear from Jack Will's, funnily enough. And, a top and a pair of shoes from Urban Outfitters. I felt like treating myself. Plus, I got paid, so I have a shit load of money. Wheyyy.

I really should sleep now though. I need to get up at a relatively okay time tomorrow so I can spend the day doing college work. Fun times for Zoz!

Heart, Zoe. x

This world is doomed.

2011-01-11T23:43:00.005Z

I'm currently watching a programme called "Pre-teen proms", which basically translates to "10 year old's with huge egos, and bitchy personalities; fighting for the best outfit, hair and entrance".

I wouldn't mind so much if these "proms" (which, by the way, is an American term) were just a school disco with a table in the corner of the room which had a couple of bottles of coke and a few bowls of crisps on it, but they're not. These 10 year olds ACTUALLY give a shit whether they have a limo, an expensive outfit, big hair, and EVEN whether they're "prom king or queen". I mean, seriously? I don't remember hardly anything from when I was at primary school. In fact, I don't remember anything from when I was 10. I think all I really cared about was cartoons, Britney Spears and food. 2 out of 3 of those are still true. (Guess which ones)...

Why would you want your children, when they're that age, begin to have competitions about what they look like, and about they're shitty little entrances on a tacky horse and carriage? And then spend hundreds and hundreds of pounds so everyone remembers them for possibly a few months, if that. I don't even understand why people do it for the main "year 11 prom", yet alone when you're in year fucking 6. I mean, one boy just got fitted in a French Connection suit, for God sake...but it's okay, because "HE LOOKS SO GROWN UP".... When, at that age, he just shouldn't. He's 10.

And they EVEN give a shit about whether they have dates or not, and that, for me, just takes the fucking cake.

One mother just said that she thinks it's important that girls begin to start plucking their eyebrows and shaving their legs when they're that age, because "society is changing"....again, who gives a shit?

A lot of parents can't afford limos and expensive clothes and go to the hairdressers for that one night, and you can't tell me that it's fair on that one kid that doesn't get that, and they're not going to feel like shit. Well done for ruining their childhood and making them feel insanely insecure before they've even gotten to Secondary school.

I don't know... I just don't understand why they can't just be kids. I'm so glad I didn't have to worry about, or think about things like that when I was 10. Fuck that.

Basically, this world is doomed.

Heart, Zoe. x

With or without you.

2011-01-07T02:28:00.004Z

Right now, it is cold and it is windy and it is wet and it is depressing and it is dull, but if you look hard enough, you can find some pretty things...

Heart, Zoe. x

Fast Car.

2011-01-02T00:00:00.003Z

Literally haven't stopped listening to this song all night.

So, what will your legacy be?

2011-01-01T21:54:00.002Z

Happy new year, and all that. The difference in amount of blogs that I posted in 2009 compared to 2010 is quite a large number, so I apologise for that. I can't promise that 2011 is going to improve though. These days, my life is so boring that I have nothing to write about! I always think it's better to just say nothing at all than bore people to death. ;)

New year was pretty uneventful for me. I always find that new years is such a let down. You can plan this amazing party or plan to go out somewhere really sweet, but it 98% of the time, it usually ends up sucking. I didn't go out this year. I stayed in and decided to watch Jools Holland with my parents, whilst snuggled in my Spongebob blanket. Told you my life was boring, didn't I? ;)

Christmas was alright though. Nice and quiet, just the way I like it. I'm so glad my family aren't a fussy and busy family. I enjoy just staying at home and relaxing, instead of rushing around in cars and such to get places to see people that you hardly see throughout the entire year, and then have to be incredibly nice and polite.

Yeah, I've got it good when it comes to Christmas.

Apart from recently becoming a singleton, nothing else has really changed since I did a proper 'life' post.....not that I can even remember when that last was anyway. I'm just plodding on, as per usual. I have so much college work to do though which I really should start very, very soon....but we all know I won't. ;)

Life's okay though, you know... I'm just trying to not be alone as much as possible, so then I don't think about problems as much, or if I do, then I have someone there to talk to about it. Things are weird without Stephen, and I'm as confused as fucking ever....but I'm just taking each day as it comes. Once I get back to college in a couple of weeks, then I'm sure I'll be okay with the whole situation. We'll have to see...

But anyway, I'm sure I've bored you enough with my boring, boring life.

I'll try not to be as boring next time. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

...and the sky cried down for days and days...

2010-12-18T20:52:00.006Z

Today was the first time in History where I think Snakes and Ladders closed early. I attempted riding to work on my bike at 9:30am this morning, but the snow was so bad that I couldn't see and the snow was just getting in my eyes. In the end, I had to walk. We had those annoying customers that will do ANYTHING in their power to drive their kids to Snakes and Ladders. I felt sorry for the kids. You could tell all they wanted to do was just go outside and build a snowman or something. Instead, they were stuck in a dark, giant, cold building with no atmosphere. Fun fun fun. In the end though, my boss decided to close up. I can't say walking back in the snow was more fun, considering it was heavier and a lot more thick than when I walked there, but I made it home eventually and did absolutely nothing with my afternoon, which is exactly what I wanted. Plus, the snow is pretty and made the walk home a lot more interesting. It's so quiet when it snows because there's like..no traffic. It's so nice. :)

Anyway, I hope it will be like this next Saturday. It probably won't, but it will be cool beans if it did. :) I haven't been feeling very "Christmassy" recently. For some reason, it doesn't feel like Christmas. But today has changed that all. :)

I wish people would stop moaning about it, though. And I wish people would stop pointing out the obvious. Every time I log onto Facebook, my news feed is just clogged with "OMG its snowing well heavy LOL" or "Oh, ffs... I HATE SNOW". Yes, it's an inconvenience. Yes, you can't drive very fast, or really at all. But let's just enjoy it, shall we? It is Christmas after all. :)

Currently listening to Justin Nozuka. His music makes me smile. Check him out if you haven't before.

Heart, Zoe. x

And you can tell everybody that this is your song.

2010-12-14T21:10:00.003Z

- War of the Worlds at the o2 in London.

- New purple, sparkly ukulele.

- Vintage Laura Ashley hat for £4.

I can't really complain right now, can I?

Christmas shopping is going well. I only have my two brother's, Ross' and the rest of Rory's to go now.

WHEY.

CHRISTMAS.

WHEY.

Heart, Zoe. x

Awkward.

2010-11-30T22:15:00.003Z

There is so much I could talk about right now. Some good and some bad. But, all I really want to say is that the smell of burnt peanut butter has been lingering in my house for two days now. I really wish it would go.

Heart, Zoe. x

Quiz.

2010-11-24T22:37:00.004Z

I don't fancy writing about my life at the moment. Not when I don't really know what's going on. So, instead, I'll do a quiz. First time for my blog. Enjoy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where did you meet the last person you were in a car with?

All at college about two years ago. :)

Besides this survey, what are you doing right now?

BBM-ing Megan and occasionally glancing at the TV.

Will you be up before 7am tomorrow?

Nahhh way, maan.

Did you kiss anyone today?

Nope.

What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Today was quite funny actually. Megan and I had a good ol' chuckle in set building. Haha!

How old do you think you’ll be when you have kids?

I have no clue.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I highly doubt it.

Are you waiting for something?

Yes!!

When was the last time you hugged a member of the opposite sex?

Earlier on today.

What’s your relationship with the last person you text?

Jamz is my very good friend. :)

What did you do today?

Set built at college, went to town at lunch. Wheyy.

Do you have a friend of the opposite gender you can talk to?

Yes. A few actually.

What is bothering you right now?

One main thing, but I'm trying to distract myself from it.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Nope. I'm rubbish.

Have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Nope.

Have you ever taken someone back after they’ve cheated?

Nope.

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed?

Closed. Obviously.

Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out of your life?

Yes.

Are you really happy or are you just saying that?

I'm not really happy at the moment, but I'm coping. I can smile and laugh, at least.

Do you think relationships are hard?

Yeah. They're not easy things, any way.

How do you feel about your relationship status?

Not great. Keeping positive.

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday.

Do you have trust issues?

I don't really know. I don't think so, but I don't just trust anyone.

Who was the last person that you threw out of your life?

I'd say Jess Matthews.

Is there something you want to tell someone?

Yesyesyes.

Who was the last person you had an argument with?

Stephen.

Has anyone made your day better even if it wasn’t by much?

Yes.

How many relationships have you been in?

Proper ones? 3.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?

Loads.

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?

Maybe? I don't know.

Have you ever been in a relationship you never wanted to end?

Yes.

I wish I could fly, and magically appear and disappear.

2010-11-13T11:39:00.003Z

I'm currently lying slap bang in the middle of Stephen's huge double bed, with one duvet and two blankets covering me. I want to listen to music, but I don't know Stephen's password for his Spotify..... Goddamn it.

Anyway. Stephen went to work at 7:30am this morning. He finishes at 1:30pm, where he'll be meeting his parents and I at a theatre in Bristol to watch a show. Exciting times. I can't be bothered to get out of bed though. I am too warm and toasty.
However, there's a roast chicken and salad sandwich waiting for me in his fridge. I want it. D:

I just thought I'd write a lil' sumin'sumin' because I was bored. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Ross Noble.

2010-11-09T19:49:00.003Z

Probably THE funniest man to ever walk on this planet.

The 7th November was the second time I have seen him live. He definitely did not disappoint.

P.S: If anyone wants to buy me a Christmas present, then buy me a Ross Noble DVD? Please? Y'know, either "Things" or "Nobleism" or "Fizzy Logic" or "Randomist" or "Sonic Waffle" or "Unrealtime"...... Thanks. :D x

-

2010-11-05T17:40:00.001Z

This

can't

the

end.

Missing you.

2010-11-03T00:49:00.005Z

Watch me fall, watch me fall down.

There's an aching in my skin,

I wanna get out, wanna get out;

Out of mind, out of time, and into you.

Into you...

They say "people grow, let it go.

Time will heal your bleeding wounds."

But, I don't think it's gonna work out that easy.

I'll be missing you.

Missing you...

- "Missing You" by Kina Grannis.

Monster mash.

2010-10-30T20:45:00.001+01:00

This is my pumpkin of awesomeness.

Happy Halloweeeeen. :)

I'm your puppet.

2010-10-27T11:45:00.003+01:00

It's nice to check your bank account and see you've been paid, and had money taken out by O2 for your phone bill, and then have MORE money than you did before any of this happened.

I like looking at my bank account and seeing I have over £150. A rarity really.

I also just got a letter posted through the door from Natwest telling me I'm FINALLY getting a new bank card, and it's not going to be a shitty Solo/Maestro any more, and it's now going to be a Visa Debit. Now I won't have a problem with First Great Western telling me I'm lying and refusing to accept my card when buying train tickets, because 'apparently it's not really a maestro', even though it is. Fail, First Great Western. Mega fail.

I'm also really, really, really ill right now. My throat feels like it's got a flaming bowling ball stuck inside it, and I keep getting more hot flushes than the average menopausal woman. Oh, and my nose is blocked. Ewww.

AND, I have work tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. I am pretty much screweddd.

Halloween though this weekend. I'll be putting up some awesome pictures of the awesome pumpkins myself and my family will be carving, so stay in tuned for that.

I must go now. Going to town with my mother.

Heart, Zoe. x

Harry Hill's TV Burp.

2010-10-22T15:37:00.003+01:00

Last night, my brother Ashley, my mum, my good friend Tom and myself went to go and watch Harry Hill's TV Burp get recorded at the BBC Television Studios. It was great fun! We queued for a good two and a half hours or so, but it was worth it as we got great seats and a great view of the whole set. Note, that the picture to your left isn't the view from where we were sitting. I didn't want to risk taking a picture before filming from where we were sitting, just in case someone shouted at me. D: As you can see from the picture, they're tidying up and stuff, so it was at the end.
I don't want to spoil Saturday's episode for any of you, if you are Harry Hill fans and watch the show, so I'm not going to tell you any of the things that happened, but we might be on TV on Saturday, because there was an audience shot in very close to us, so you never know!

It was interesting to see how they filmed it. They basically recorded the whole show as if it was going out live. They just did a full run through and only stopped briefly if Harry forgot his lines or if there was a technical problem or something like that, but that didn't really happen very much, but was funny when it did anyway! The "fight" had to be done a couple of times to get it right, but the fight was awesome, so it was okay. Then, the producers looked over part one first and then they re-shot any scenes or lines or changed anything they thought didn't work well, which wasn't much, and then did the same for part two. Then, they did one specific scene which involved water, so obviously, they wanted to do the messy scene right at the end, which makes sense really. We had a nice chap who kept us entertained when they were setting things up or when there were pauses, and right at the beginning before the whole recording process began. Overall, we were in there for a good two hours, and possibly a bit more. We also got free beer in the foyer, which is never a bad thing. It was so worth the waiting and constant standing around and etc. Considering we didn't actually pay for the tickets itself, it was pretty good! It was good to feel like a part of it, as the audience and their reactions is such an important part of the show, especially for Harry Hill's TV Burp. It's also good that they don't use canned laughter or edit the laughter in themselves as well.

I'd recommend any one go and see it get recorded, or any show get recorded really. It's so interesting to actually watch how they do things and a really good experience.

It was a good day, overall. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

R.I.P Rocky.

2010-10-12T17:25:00.003+01:00

Rest in peace, Rocky. You were a wonderful budgie and the house is annoyingly quiet without you chirping away to music and people and what-not.

Love you ALWAYS. :) Have fun in budgie heaven.

Heart, Zoe. x

(This is where I would insert a picture of Rocky, but I don't have one. WAHHHH.)

The point sometimes.

2010-10-11T22:55:00.005+01:00

Get rid of the ocean

if you ever wanna see me again.

Our shores are separating,

with or without a boat.

And you know that nothing lasts forever,

and depending on the weather,

I'm a changer.

And I know that if November had been deader,

if we'd hidden a bit better,

we'd be strangers.

And this breeze blew in

with a glitch in the tide.

Disguised as storm free,

begging me please to take a ride.

Well, soften your sails and take a ride.

Open the wings and let her fly.

And I can't see the point sometimes.

You're a rock, I'm a gull.

Might be okay to stay if you could hold me,

but you got no way to do so.

And you know that as the water rises

possible perch shrinks in size,

and I'll take off.

And this breeze blew in

with a glitch in the tide.

Disguised as storm free,

begging me please to take a ride.

Well, soften your sails and take a ride.

Open the wings and let her fly

And you know that nothing lasts forever,

and depending on the weather,

I'm a changer,

I'm a changer.

------------------------------------------------------------

I've been listening to Gregory and the Hawk non-stop all evening. So, so, so good.

Just thought I'd give you something a bit different on this uneventful, Monday night.

Heart, Zoe. x

BFF INIT.

2010-10-09T23:49:00.001+01:00

I love Hattie Partington more than life itself.

COOL BEANS.

200.

2010-09-21T21:58:00.003+01:00

ALSO, my previous blog was my 200th one.

Well done ME for finally getting there. It should have come sooner really (that's what she said), but I'm rubbish at writing regularly these days.

To celebrate and congratulate myself, I'm going to get TWO chocolate éclairs instead of my original ONE. Oh, I am naughty.

Heart, Zoe. x

Bouncy, bouncy; oh, such a good time.

2010-09-21T21:22:00.002+01:00

I just had a lovely, little chat with Noel Fielding on the phone. He called me a pineapple because I was watching The Great British Bake Off instead of The Boosh, but he called me 'love' and told me to take care, and took the time out of his life to talk to ME, so all is good. :)

Also, Mario Kart arrived today, so I'm going to be playing that non-stop when my brother's not around.

And Edd won The Great British Bake off, and he was my FAV, so I'm happy about that.

I have the day off college tomorrow. I am going to sleep, eat, play Mario Kart and catch up on Eastenders.

Good mood right now. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

It's just a little awkward.

2010-09-20T13:52:00.003+01:00

iCarly is so shit. I just got home from college and put on Nickelodeon to see if Spongebob was on because, you know, Spongebob is awesome.... but it's not on; iCarly is. I thought: "I'll just leave this on and browse the internet whilst I wait for Spongebob to come on, because there's nothing else on at the moment", but GOD, it's so infuriatingly bad. The jokes, the canned laughter, the terrible effects they use for their mediocre "web show"..

You know those pointless frames they put on TV, so you can tell when you're looking through a video camera? With the "REC" in the bottom right-hand corner? And the red-flashy button? They use that ALL THE TIME, and it's like "yeah, okay, we know you're recording through a video camera because that's the whole point of your show, right? It's based around a web show that you record using a video camera? Stop treating your audience like they don't understand ANYTHING." Who would seriously want to watch their web show, anyway? They don't do anything on it. It's such a yawnfest.

I remember when kids tv was good. The only good thing around these days is Spongebob.

Thank God for Spongebob.

It's on now. I'm going to finish this rant about iCarly now, but read this for more: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/ICarly

I lol'd.

Heart, Zoe. x

Let's go back.

2010-09-08T19:33:00.002+01:00

I miss "LOOOOAFFF?"

I miss getting vending machine soup with Hattie.

I miss Jack's constant juggling.

I miss mine and Rory's banter.

I pretty much miss every thing.

The one thing that's concerning me is that, even though I'm still with four of my favourite people, in the same environment, doing similar things, it's not going to ever be the same again.

I never thought I would miss it, but I do.

I'm thinking two is better than one.

2010-08-27T11:53:00.002+01:00

The other day, I went to Oxford with Stephen. To do this, we had to catch a bus from Abingdon into Oxford. Now, if you don't live near or around where I live, then you won't know that the price of getting to Oxford from Abingdon and then back again is £4. Naturally, I didn't have any change on me whatsoever. I think I had about 20p in 5p's, but that was it, so Stephen and I both got a £10 out of a cash machine.

Stephen went first to get on the bus. Yep. £4. Okay. Stephen gave the bus driver a £10 note. She looked at him disgustedly, but gave him £6 change without saying a word.

Now it was my turn:

"Return to Oxford, please."

"That's £4, please."

"Sorry, all I have is a £10 note. I have no change whatsoever."

"Yeah, And I'll have no change by the end of this. Look, that's my last £5 note."

She then continued to pretty much throw the money, which consisted of a £5 note and a £1 coin, at me and then said "thank you" in a voice that was loud and sarcastic enough to kill a small child.

Stephen and I were discussing how ridiculous this all was on the bus. Now, I'm here to discuss it with you.

She is a service to the public, right? And I am her customer. I am one of the people letting her keep her job by stepping onto her bus and putting money into her hand. Whether that was £4 or £400, she shouldn't be complaining. The more customers she has, the more likely she won't get sacked for being so shit that she repels customers.

If you're going to make a return ticket to any place nearly a fiver, then you should expect that a lot of people are probably going to give you a greater amount of money, in which case, you should probably carry MORE notes on you.

And also, isn't that what change is for? Correct me if I'm wrong, but the fact that she was complaining because it was "her last £5 note" is retarded, because at the end of the day, she'll probably have given that "last £5 note" to anyone, whether it was me or fucking Jimbob down the street. Would she have complained to Jimbob too? Or did she just fancy having a go at me? It's CHANGE. You give CHANGE to people who give you a greater amount of money than the actual price. What does she want to do with it? Hang it up on her wall and fucking stare at it all day?

Anyway, she's lost one customer. I will never get on a bus if she's driving again. Even if that means waiting another 4 hours to get home...

Off topic, I have jumped on the Blackberry wagon. It's pretty and makes me smile because it doesn't restart itself every 10 seconds like my old piece of shit did.

BB pin: 22C736F4. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

By the beautiful sea.

2010-08-17T02:36:00.003+01:00

7th - 15th August = best week of my life. :)

Dr. Pepper; what's the worst that can happen?

2010-08-05T23:21:00.003+01:00

In two days time, I'll be living it up in a caravan in Bognor Regis with my boyfriend. In fact, I can imagine that at this exact time in two days, we'll probably be sitting in our caravan playing Game of Life or watching The Spongebob Movie, eating enormous amounts of Maryland Cookies and Twiglets. Well.....I'll be eating the Twiglets. Stephen won't. He doesn't like them. Douche.

MORE TWIGLETS FOR ME.

In other news, I got a pair of socks with robots on for 50p in Tescos earlier. Life is even more perfect now that those socks are in my life....and on my feet. Yeah.

Anyway...yeah...holiday in two days, which is sweet as a nut because not only does it mean that I get to spend some major time with my boyfriend in good ol' Bognor, but also because I get time off work for a long while. No more screaming kids that almost knock you over wherever you walk, and no more snobby parents that you HAVE to be polite to. Dear God, I hope I don't get that on holiday. D:

Time to catch up on Eastenders, because I'm cooler than Jesus with a yo-yo.

Heart, Zoe. x

Apples.

2010-07-31T15:58:00.001+01:00

I love Ross for giving me his iPod Touch. :):)

Omnomnom.

2010-07-28T23:56:00.005+01:00

Why didn't I know that these existed until JUST NOW? D:

Hey kid, good morning, you look like an angel.

2010-07-28T23:05:00.003+01:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a huge picnic that he had made, I won £40 on a scratch card and I saw Hattie for McDonalds and chats.

Today was a good day.

I like your tricycle.

2010-07-26T23:12:00.003+01:00

This never fails to put a smile on my face.

C'mon love, run with me.

2010-07-22T22:59:00.002+01:00

New laptop. Finally.

Seeing Stephen in two days. Finally. It's only been eighteen days since I last saw his face. AHHHHHHH.

Anyway. Holiday soon. Life is good.

To make things complete, I need a new phone to replace my shitty Sony Ericsson that restarts itself every five minutes. & that is no exaggeration. :)

Short blog. I cba to write loads. I'm too busy exploring Windows 7. It's pretty.

Heart, Zoe. x

Wake up, it's a beautiful morning.

2010-07-12T12:19:00.002+01:00

Right now, I have the worst cold ever. Getting a cold in summer annoys me, because, to me, it just doesn't seem like it should be possible. I should be complaining of hayfever, and getting bitten by stupid insects, and getting sunburnt, and other annoying things that you get in summer; not a common cold.

Any way. It's not nice.

Today is Monday; the beginning of another week. My plan for this week is:

- Spend Wednesday night at Emma's.

- Welcome Ross home from France.

- See Shan lots.

- Work Friday and Saturday.

Not much...but I'm looking forward to the first three things.

Stephen's gone to London this week. Last week he was in Bristol doing work, and now he's gone to London to work at some festival. Haven't seen him in 7 days, and I have about another 13 to go. I hate him not being here. It's summer; he should be. D:

It's dragging like a bitch, lol. I just want it to be our holiday nowwww. I need to get away. I can't WAIT. :)

I'm watching Spongebob atm. Of course. :) Going to make a cuppa tea in a minute and raid the cupboards to see if there's any decent food.

Hope you're all having a good summer, so far.

Heart, Zoe. x

If you'd call me now, baby, then I'd come a running.

2010-07-04T21:33:00.003+01:00

Hiiiii. :)

So..college is all over now. Got two distinctions and a merit overall, which I was not expecting whatsoever...so GOOD TIMES FOR ZOZ. :) The ball was fun, too.. Was a lovely way to finish off the best two years of my life. :)

My birthday was crazy. I've never consumed so much alcohol in my life, but it was so worth it..even if I was feeling it for the next two days. It's nice being 18. It's nice to know that I can just go to the pub with friends and have a drink...and not have to worry about getting done for being under age or anything... & I can actually go out with Stephen and his friends in Bristol.

Freedom is good. :)

So it's Summer now. I'm planning to work a lot to get shit loads of money. Stephen and I have booked a caravan holiday to Bognor Regis (lol) from the 7th - 14th of August. I am SO excited. It'll be so fun to just get away for a whole week to a place we've both never been before. There's a Butlins near by. Blates going there loads. ;)

Currently watching 16 and Pregnant. Watching 16 year-old American teenagers go through SHIT is so entertaining. Sucks to be them, lolol.

Hope you're all having fun times. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Finally...

2010-06-29T00:24:00.002+01:00

It's my birthday today. :)

Happy birthday to me!

It's nice to know I'm going to have a social life and be able to go out and have FUN TIMES with my friends and boyfriend.

Let's get on it tonight, yeah?

Stroke the furry wall.

2010-06-21T00:52:00.004+01:00

Film premiers are fun. ;D

Rory and I went to the "Get Him to the Greek" premier today in London. Got to meet Russell Brand and Jonah Hill. Free popcorn. Free movie. Pretty sweeeet.

When it's out, which is in a few days I think, go and see it! Fucking hilarious film.

Also ordered my ball dress today....

Pretty, no? :)

Obviously...that's not me...

Any way, that's all. FMP is over now. Sad, sad times. :(
& my dad's the Mayor of Ock Street again, for the fourth year in a row. Boo-fucking-ya.

Heart, Zoe. x

If you've got a four leaf clover, you could make my dreams come true.

2010-06-17T00:58:00.004+01:00

There isn't enough words in the English Language to describe my love for The Last 5 Years. I fucking love it so much.

If you have yet to get your "Stop the World" tickets, there's still time! :) Don't miss out, yeah? You get to see me play as a rejected daughter named Jane. ;)

I'm doing my log book at the moment. I spent the last two hours on the phone to Stephen, explaining the plots of the first three series of Dexter. He didn't ask me to, I just started talking about it, and once I start talking about it, I can't seem to stop. Also talking about my show, and about the ND1 showcase, and about The Last 5 Years...

Usually, he does all the talking. Makes a change that it was me instead. :)

I'm really hungry, too. All I've eaten today is a slice of cake, a few gherkins, a punnet of cherries and some chicken bites. There's some cheese-topped rolls in the kitchen that are calling my name. It's 1:04am and probably too late to eat now, but I don't care.

I actually only came on my laptop to play Plants Vs. Zombies, but I thought I should probably do my log book, and three hours later, I still haven't finished. I'm rubbish.

Any way. This was pointlesssss.

Log book time, then food, then Plants Vs. Zombies, then bed....ready for show number 3 tomorrow, and ready for the orthodontist at 12:15pm for my retainer fitting. D:

Heart, Zoe. x

The end.

2010-06-16T11:49:00.003+01:00

"...and if we could live twice,

I'd make life paradise,

for someone really nice,

like you..."

------------------------------------------------

The end of two years is coming closer and closer, and I've only just realised how much I'm going to miss it...

There are so many lives I want to share with you.

2010-06-13T17:18:00.003+01:00

New blog. I quite like it. :)

Just a few things:

1. I don't have braces any more.

2. I'm not ginger any more.

3. I've finally seen The Last 5 Years, thanks to Stephen. :)

4. Come and see my graduation show, "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" Tickets are £6/£4 from Abingdon and Witney College reception. :) Tuesday 15th - Friday 18th. 7:30pm. :)

That is all, for now.

I'm going to continue my hunt for a ball dress. Went into Oxford today, but it was just poor...

Heart, Zoe. x

Love don't live here anymore.

2010-05-27T22:14:00.003+01:00

I haven't written on here in ages. I don't really have a reason why I haven't, but I apologise for my absence any way. :)

There's been a lot of college stuff going on recently:

- Musical concert performance / rehearsals.

- FMP rehearsals.

- Devising performance / rehearsals.

- Devising log book.

- FMP log book.

Ironically, it got so stressful that my motivation, energy and concentration went completely down the drain.

Thankfully, our musical concert was last night and our devised play was today, so now I only have to worry about FMP...which isn't that far away.

After half term, we have 6 days of rehearsals left until the day of opening night...

Shit.

Fingers crossed it will all work out okay and be the best performance we've ever done in our lives.

Now that I only have to worry about FMP, hopefully my motivation, energy and concentration will go back to normal and I'll actually feel like I want to come into college. :)

You should come and see our FMP though. :) It's a musical called "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!" It's pretty wickeddd...

15th - 18th of June. Tickets are £8/£5.

Other than college stuff, life's been pretty cool. Stephen and I are as good. He still makes me as happy as ever, which is always a good thing when it comes to relationships....lulz.

Oh, and completely off subject, but I got Spotify today. Yeeeah, motherfucker. ;) Listening to some City and Colour right now. Even though I have all of his stuff on my iTunes, I feel a lot more cool listening to it on Spotify...

Any wayssss....I'll try and post again soon, but don't hold me to that.

Hope all is well. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Raise hell.

2010-05-11T20:17:00.002+01:00

Me: "You know what? I'd vote for David Cameron if he did my FMP log book for me. I mean, he's a douche, but if he did it then I'd be like 'oh, thanks David, I'll vote for you next time'. Well...I'd only vote for him if he got me a distinction. If he got me a Merit then I'd be like 'well thanks, but I could've probably got myself a Merit. I mean, you're a nice person for doing so, but..not worthy of a vote."

*Pause*...

"In fact, I'd vote for anyone if they did my log book for me. I'd vote for.........Ronald McDonald, for instance."

Ashley: "Uh..could you?"

Me: "I don't mean as the Prime Minister, I mean just..if he was ever involved in anything that needed...votes..."

Ashley: "Like what?"

Me: "I dunno..the..uhh... 'best person who's a symbol for..something'"

*Laughlaughlaughlaugh*...

Ashley: "What would you do if Cameron got rid of EMA?"

Me: "Do you mean..if he got rid of EMA but still did my log book? Or.."

Ashley: "Well.. I didn't, but yeah..if he got rid of EMA but still did your log book?"

Me: "I wouldn't vote for him, no. I mean..he'd be a nice guy for doing my log book, but that doesn't make you a good Prime Minister. I'd just give him a cookie for being nice.."

Ashley: "You wouldn't be able to afford a cookie, because he would've gotten rid of EMA..."

I really need to stop procrastinating and just do my log book....

I think in decimals and dollars.

2010-05-07T15:13:00.002+01:00

I'm currently at college in iMedia. I could've left 41 minutes ago, but for some reason I'm still sat here refreshing Facebook every 5 seconds. I'm so retarded.
But I've got some Alexisonfire to keep me entertained.

I'm ill right now. I blame Stephen.
& I'm not doing anything this weekend, apart from maybe logbooking, which I cannot be bothered with and have no motivation to make myself do, but I'm sure I'll be able to make myself do a teeny bit, even if it's for like...10 minutes.

Oh, my life right now.. hahaha.
I'm being so moody, but it's only because I'm ill. I went home earlier for about half an hour and turned the house upside down trying to find my headphones, and I went completely mental.
I still can't find them. I'm using college's. They're okay but not as good as mine.

I've decided I'm going to make brownies tonight. Craving.

Blahblahblah.
This blog was pointless.
Sorry for the bad mood.

:)

Heart, Zoe.

Murder.

2010-04-27T17:27:00.004+01:00

"No one sleeps more beautifully than you,
but I am afraid that you will waken just now,
and touch me with an indifferent glance, lightly passing,
and commit the murder of beauty."

- 'Murder' by YevgenyYevtushenko.
1984.
Translated by Albert C. Todd.

We sing, 'cos it holds us together.

2010-04-25T21:17:00.003+01:00

I love my boyfriend more than life itself, if I'm totally honest with you.

........That's all I've got to say, because it's all I'm thinking right now.

Happy Zoe. x

My sweater is on backwards and inside out.

2010-04-20T20:01:00.001+01:00

Hello. :)

I promised you a blog. It's a bit later than expected, but it's better than nothing, right? After this, I'm going to bed. I need sleep so much..

Easter is over now. It was a good couple of weeks. :) Stephen went back to Bristol on Saturday, which was sad times. It feels weird without him being here to annoy and Doctor Who with. He also was lovely and bought me some Lily's on our 8 month anniversary. :') 10 days later, and they're still in bloom and smell amazing. :)

I'm going up to see him on Saturday. I don't have work on Saturday either! They rang me today and asked me if I wanted the day off, for some reason. I am definitely not refusing an opportunity like that up. ;)

I love him very much though. He made my Easter extremely enjoyable. :)

Emma stayed round last night, which was so nice. :) I've missed our chats and fun times, and I'm glad that we're still going to be together next year, considering we're both doing production. :) More fun times to be had! I love her very much.

Alex and I are talking again too. He sent me a really lovely email apologising for every thing and stuff. I don't want to hold grudges against people who obviously don't deserve it, so all is good. :) We spent about 4 hours of this evening catching up on Facebook chat. It's been nice.

It's just such a nice feeling that, a year after all that Jess shit happened, someone has finally seen the light and turned around and said that they understand. Now I don't feel like I lost any more. I feel like karma is actually running it's course. Finally. :)

I'm seeing him Thursday afternoon. Just going to go get a coffee and talk more about what's been going on. Sure it will be wonderful. :)

Rock Show is next week. Hoping it will be good! Got a long practice tomorrow, which I'm hoping will go well. Fingers crossed! I'm quite excited though. :)

Not long left of college, really... Another 9 weeks or so? Scary thought...

I really need to start my log books though for both my FMP and for the devising unit. :/ I don't want to get behind again... I need motivation!

I will probably do it tomorrow....

Hopefully...

Anyway. I better go to sleep. I've got to be up at 8am for college tomorrow. BLAH.

Oh, and did I tell you I get my braces off in June? EXCITEDDDDD. :D:D:D

Heart, Zoe. x

Goodnight.

2010-04-19T23:50:00.001+01:00

Basically...a quick note to say that I WILL write a blog tomorrow. I was going to write one now but I have Emma round and I realised that I have a lot to say.

So, I will speak to you tomorrow. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Love; it's a special day.

2010-04-04T20:03:00.002+01:00

I've been so unbelievably rubbish at blogging. The last time I did was like...March 14th? I dunno... Something like that.

However, with Stephen being down for a month, I haven't really felt like I've wanted to.

I apologise for neglecting you. You haven't missed much, though. :)

Basically, all I've been doing is either seeing Stephen, or seeing Rory. Or both at the same time. Or just playing ukulele.

I love my ukulele. I'm starting to get hard skin on my fingers, which shows I've been playing way too much..

I went to the circus last Monday too, which was awesome. They had performing budgies! I have a budgie, and he now seems really shit compared. xD Poor Rocky..

I also went to see The Lion King in London on Wednesday. It was good! :)

& Thursday and Friday I went to the OFS in Oxford to see some Oxfringe stuff. Saw a play called 'Zemblanity', which was so fucking funny. It made no sense, but it was brilliant.

& then saw a comedy group called 'The Noise Next Door'. They do improvised comedy. So they ask the audience for suggestions and scenarios, and then improvise it. Think of it being exactly like 'Who's line is it, anyway?".... They were so incredible.

I actually got called on stage and they improvised a boy band song about my life. They asked me questions like..my name and what I do in my spare time and stuff like that.. & they improvised a song using all that info. It was amazing! Embarrassing, but amazing..

Rory recorded it. The moment I get the video, I'll put it up here. :)

I've basically just been seeing Stephen really, now that he's here. :) I stayed round his last night. We watched Final Destination 3, ate Chinese and watched Mock the Week. Then stayed up until 4am just talking. It's nice to spend decent time with him.. :)

I apologise for the lack of blogs. I don't know when I'll next write, but hopefully soon.

OH, and happy Easter! I finally don't have to worry about lack of chocolate. :D

Stephen got me a Mini Eggs egg. It came with a mug! :D

& some old couple that my dad does gardening for got me a Mars egg. :)

& my mum got me a big Lindt bunny (not the crazy 1kg one, that's like £35, but the size below that), a buttons egg and some mini eggs. :) Omnomnom...

I've got work tomorrow, even though it's a bank holiday... -.-

I get time and a half though, so that's good. I just hope it's not busy...and I really hope it doesn't pour with rain!

Anyway. Speak soon. :)
Heart, Zoe. x

It's got potential, this day. It's pregnant.

2010-03-19T13:21:00.006Z

I watched the final episode of the most recent series of Skins this morning. After reading countless Facebook statuses beforehand, saying how "shit the ending was" and how "the writers should give up", I really wanted to give it a chance. I had a hunch why people were saying these things, and this was probably down to questions being unanswered. No doubt, the biggest being that no one really knew if Freddie was 100% dead. I knew this before I even watched it.

I feel sorry for Skins and for the writers, because I think that it was a good ending. The whole episode was good. The final, short monologue of Cook's that ended the episode was incredible. The fact he stood up to a man with a baseball bat that he knew had already killed his friend and just laughed, showed us who Cook really is. Fearless, independent and strong, but also filled with the care and love for his friends. It built up so much tension.

They tied up Emily and Naomi's story, and even Thomas' and Panda's. But, I like the fact that they didn't answer every question that they knew would be going through every viewer's head. I like the fact that they left it up to us to imagine what really happened. Why hand it to us on a plate? Not every thing can have a happy ending, and for all you know, if they did show us what 'really happened', then it might not have been what you wanted it to be. Cook could've got bludgeoned to death by John Foster and he could've gotten away with it. I think that would've been a worse ending than the one they gave us, because it wouldn't have been what we would want. I like to believe that Cook destroyed John Foster and they found Freddie and bought John Foster to justice, so that is the way it ends for me.

Our own imaginations are much stronger and more vivid than just simply showing us something. Where's the fun in that?

--------------------------------------------

Posted by: Bryan Elsley

on Thu Mar 18, 2010 at 11:05 pm

Bryan Elsley - writer of episode 8 and Skins co-creator

Writing the last episode of Skins is so difficult. And this one has been really hard because it is the last episode of Skins UK that I will ever write. I think the time has come to hand over to the fantastically talented group of young writers, we've spent all this time putting together. They're young and creative and totally fearless which is just as well, because I don't know if you realise it; you, our Skins Fans can be quite scary at times. It can be like showing a group of trusted, really cool friends something you have done, and when they don't like it, it's devastating. There have been a couple of moments I know, when you weren't sure of what we were doing and I'm here to tell you that sometimes we don't know exactly what we're attempting ourselves, and how it will come out. That's because Skins never wants to settle down into something predictable or just do the routine. Television writing is really really hard. So hard that sometimes I think my brain is going to explode. So I've wrestled the characters for the last time, trying to pull them out of the sky where they've been flying, and this is my last go. I hope you think its ok.

Next year, we will have new characters. Give them a chance to develop. I hope you will feel that however they turn out, that Skins is a show made with love and respect for you and your lives by people who try to be close to that. Is it supposed to be realistic? No. Can it be funny all the time? No. Should it be depressing? No. But it should say something important; that being young can be so fantastic, and such a disaster at the same time. And that you are not alone. Somewhere, there is a person experiencing the same things as you; whether they are stupidly hilarious or just terrible. Finally: That the way adults see you is not all you are. That is Skins.

--------------------------------------------

Writing is hard. You have expectations to live up to and a lot of pressure. These writers that you now 'hate so much' have given you previous series that you've loved. They've made you feel so much emotion and care towards every character, which is one of the most important things in fictional media. But, not every thing will go the way you want it to go, and I think people seem to get too involved in it and forget that it IS just fiction.

But, do me a favour and don't stop watching it just because you didn't like the ending of this series. New writers, as well as a new cast, will be coming in next series.

I will be giving them both a good chance.

Heart, Zoe. x

We're drinking! We're drinking!

2010-03-16T22:36:00.004Z

I think the Spongebob Ukulele is probably one of the best things I've ever purchased in my life.

Hattie and I can now have UKULELE JAMMING SESSIONS. ;)

But yeah. I've been playing that all evening. & I've been playing Diner Dash. I finished Edgeworth, so I had to settle for the next best thing. ;)

It was my mum's birthday today. We had cake and Chinese, which was wonderful. I haven't finished my cake yet though, so I will do that after I've wrote this. :)

The weather's been nice these last few days. It was nice walking into town with my sunglasses on and only a cardigan to protect my arms from the slight breeze, and not shiver at all.

It's officially spring on Saturday, so I hope the weather gets even better!

Also, Stephen comes down for a month on Sunday, and if the weather stays nice then it'll make his month-long visit even nicer. :)

Ahh...things are good right now. I don't think any thing could ruin the smile that's been on my face for a long, long time...

*TOUCH WOOD*

Heart, Zoe. x

Cool for cats.

2010-03-12T18:22:00.004Z

This game is taking over my life, and I love it.

Your words in my memory are like music to me.

2010-03-02T22:19:00.002Z

This week is dance show week...

So far, it's all right. The theme is "Life and Death", which is awesome. I'm just happy that mine and Abi's contempory piece got chosen for it. :)

I'm only in three dances at the moment, but I'm really hoping I get into the Death Waltz tomorrow. Nickely said that she could imagine me in it and that it would suit me, so I'm hoping she will give me a chance! That's the only one I really want to be in. xD Hahaha.

I guess we will see...

This week is going to be so stressful, but I'm proud that I didn't beat myself up for not getting into some dances. I refused to get annoyed about it, because what's the point? It's not going to change any thing and will just make me feel worse...so I was just like: "MEHHHH! Shit happens. :D" & was fineee.

Should be good though. I'm looking forward to it. :)

My dad's currently watching Most Haunted, lololol. I'm waiting for Stephen to get back from the pub and ring me... Students, eh? They complain they have no money for food, but then spend their lives in the pub!... ;) Hahaha.

Oh, and I'm doing the Production course next year at college with Emma. :) I'm looking forward to it actually, and I really don't mind staying there for another year, because I'm not ready to get away... Plus, it'll give me so much more experience and I'll gain knowledge in back stage stuff too, so if I go to Uni or something and do something to do with theatre, I can show I have experience in both back stage stuff and performing stuff...

See? It's all planned out. ;)

I don't feel as nervous about next year, now that I have a definite plan. :)

Things are good now... I just hope I see Stephen this weekend. I'll be a bit upset if I don't.... I haven't seen him in two weeks!... Fingers crossed any way. If I don't, I'll just have to get on with it and hope I see him the following week. :)
I miss him. A lot... I'm all right though. I don't sit and cry each day or any thing, but some times it's difficult..

But I have people. I'm not alone. :)

Any way, I'm going to get a cuppa tea and carry on playing Miles Edgeworth. On the last case. ;D Exciting times..

Haha.. I'm so lame.

Speak soon. :)
Heart, Zoe. x

Be careful, it's delicate.

2010-02-24T12:56:00.003Z

I'm alive. :)

More shit happened last Friday, but I really cba to sit and write about what happened... The main thing is, is that I'm not dead. ;)

I'm currently sat in the comfort of my living room with my dad, trying to block out the sounds of the History Channel. This is quite easy because I'm listening to Kina Grannis' new CD that arrived in the post today. :) It's so gooooooood. You should all go and check it out. :)

I'm also just about to get a cuppa tea and my chocolate digestives that I bought yesterday after I went to the Orthordontist. Got a major craving....

We didn't have college today; nor yesterday..which is fine by me really as this gives me more time to play the new Ace Attorney game. ;D Omnomnom..

You can tell that the small things in life please me, can't you? Tea, chocolate digestives, DS.... that's like, my perfect afternoon. xD Bahaha.

I'm so gay.

Any way.. just thought I'd inform you that I'm alive. :) I felt that I've been neglecting you a bit. I've missed you!...so sorry. :)

Speak soon!

Heart, Zoe. x

My mouth is frozen so I can't even speak.

2010-02-17T19:51:00.003Z

So, it's not a hernia, which is a good thing. :)

Basically, on Monday night, I went to Minor Injuries at about 8:30pm. From where I'd been walking on it all day, it got to the point where I could hardly walk any more. Ross took me, which I thank him for. Got my lump examined, and the woman said it looked like a cyst which would need draining, so she told me to go to A&E.

FUN TIMES.

So, Ross picked my mum up and the three of went to the JR. Saw a woman who took down the details of what was wrong, and then waited another hour and a half or so until this doctor called my name.

He examined my lump and stuff and it turns out that one of my Lymph Glands are swollen. Apparently, I have an infection somewhere, but the doctors don't know what it is, because your Lymph Glands can swell when you have infections because they're trying to beat it.

So, I have some Antibiotics to try and get rid of the unknown infection, and if they don't help and I'm still in pain after I've finished the course of them, then I have to go back and have tests and stuff.

I'm in a lot of pain. I worked yesterday and today and have been just limping so much. It's horrible. Luckily, John gave me the day off tomorrow, which I'm thankful for, but I still have to work Friday and Saturday.

& also, I don't know if I can see Owl City on Friday because I'm working. :( Gagh. BAD TIMES.

But I suppose I'm surviving. I just hope this infection isn't anything too serious.

Just thought I'd let you know anyway. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

She's human after all.

2010-02-14T22:39:00.003Z

Right now, I'm too cold for my liking. I hate being cold. I'd prefer to be too hot. At least that way, I could probably move my fingers more because they wouldn't be so cold.

I could put gloves on, but I only have mittens, so typing would be difficult. All you'd get would be this:

"ERigfht nopwq,. \I'm, topop cxoiklds....."

Etc, etc...

LOL.

This weekend was Valentine's weekend, which has been lovely. Never celebrated a Valentine's in my life, so it was nice to do one. :) Stephen cooked me Salmon, jacket potato and vegetables, and pancakes, and apple crumble, and a bacon sandwich, and made me lots of tea. :) & got me an Electric blanket for my bed.

I LOVE HIM. :)

It's been a nice weekend. I am happy. :)

I'm seeing Drew tomorrow, finally, which I'm excited for! Hopefully I, nor Oxford, won't bore him to death.. ;)

The only other news to tell you is that I'm in extreme pain right now. Other than the fact that my neck and back ache like a bitch, because I probably slept on them weirdly, I think I have a Hernia.

WOOOOOO.

Basically, on Thursday, I noticed a swollen lump by my groin (lol), and on the top of my inner thigh. I just assumed that it was a swollen gland of some sort and would go down and stop hurting very soon, as I have a swollen gland on my neck that's like.. permanently swollen, lol. But, now it hurts even more and is bigger. I asked my mum about it and showed her, and she says it might be a Hernia. I did some research and it sounds about right...

So, that's fun for me! Haha. Got to go to the doctors tomorrow to make an appointment, so I suppose we shall see.

I'll keep you informed of my groin-lump. LOL.

Heart, Zoe. x

Once there was the sun.

2010-02-08T01:04:00.002Z

I just thought I'd let you all know that I finally just finished my log book. It's taken me so long...mainly because I'm lazy and have had no motivation to do it, but it's done now. Over. I don't have to worry about Cyrano de fucking Bergerac ever again. Thank fuck.

This just reminds me of when it took me about 3928034958304986 years to do my Business Assignment last year, and I wrote a blog being like:

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I'VE DONE IT!"

Well..not in those words, but y'knowwwwwwww.

I'm happy. Most of my work is out of the way now. Done my log book. Done my filming. Done my monologues.

Sigh. It feels good to not have to worry any more.

I just thought I'd let you know.

Maybe now I won't feel so shit all the time. No more stress, and that is good.

It's always good.

Heart, Zoe. x

Living in dreams.

2010-02-01T21:38:00.002Z

I want to write about my day and my weekend and stuff like I used to, but I never feel like rambling on about random things any more. It's a shame really, because this weekend's been a good one. Including today. :) Even though today wasn't part of the weekend, but oh well...

It's been nice anyway. :)

Since my last blog about my inconstant moods, I've had a good think and talks with Stephen about every thing. The only option is just to stay positive, and if I begin to feel like shit again, then I will try to remind myself of this positivity I promised myself..

So far, so good. :)

I'm sorry for my rubbish blogging, any way. I will try and change this once my stress levels about college work and the future aren't so high.

BIG heart, Zoe. x

Get yourself dressed instead of running around and pulling on your threads.

2010-01-26T23:19:00.002Z

Things have been weird recently. I don't know how else to describe them other than 'weird'.

One moment, I'm laughing and smiling and feeling excited about things and feeling good about college and my work and etc etc etc...

But then suddenly, I'll find myself crying in my boyfriend's arms, not being able to explain any of the shit that is whizzing around in my head, mainly because I can't.

I don't even understand it.

Positive.

Negative.

Postive.

Negative.

Positive.

Negative.

I'm getting tired of these constant circles and these constant mountains.

The moment I've climbed over one, I realise that there's another ahead of me.

I want to be better. I want to be normal.

Please.

So wait up; I'm not sleeping alone again tonight.

2010-01-17T21:25:00.002Z

I started to write a blog last night at about 7:45pm. It was going to be a ranting blog about Stephen because he pissed me off, but I gave up on it when I walked through the door and he smiled at me.

I realised that I cannot be angry at him. Ever.

I do have the best boyfriend in the world.

He's probably the only person I can go out to get a Full English Breakfast with at 2pm and not feel like a twat, hahaha.

I love him. & I'm certain that I always will. :)

Happyhappyhappy. x

Don't hold yourself like that; you'll hurt your knees.

2010-01-13T14:50:00.002Z

So, I'm ill. AGAIN.

Another cold. Wonderful.

About two weeks ago, I had a cold, and about three weeks before that, I was ill. My immune system is suddenly shit. :(

I hope I don't have AIDS, hahaha.

Also, college was shut today which I only just found out by going on the college website. I had the day off any way though, haha! It feels like such a waste knowing every one else got the day off too. I wouldn't feel like it was if I didn't have to day off any way. xD

It snowed last night, again, you see. But I didn't think it would snow enough for college to shut. I thought college shutting because of snow was long gone, but I suppose not!....and it's snowing now as I write this.

This snow is never going to end.

I only like snow when it makes college shut, because I'm lazy. When college isn't shut and it stops me seeing my boyfriend, then I dislike it.

So, if this snow even TRIES to stop Stephen coming down on Saturday, I will be so unhappy. I can't go another week without seeing him.. :/

I guess we'll see though...

Heart, Zoe. x

Getting two birds stoned at once.

2010-01-12T18:45:00.005Z

I was just looking at the John Mason School website, and it infuriates the fuck out of me. I'm usually not one to judge websites or anything, but every thing on it is SO pretentious.

They class themselves as "specialists in visual and performing arts". I kind of understand the visual arts bit because they're art facilities are pretty good, but PERFORMING ARTS? Really? They're drama department is so, so shit. They're music department think they're better than they actually are. Always have. It drives me up the bend. & as far as I know, they don't even do dance. Not proper dance anyway.

So..specialists in performing arts, my arse.

On the first page, you have a giant picture of four, smiling kids that look like they're having "SO MUCH FUN DOING THEIR WORK"...haha, yeah. Right.

Also, they have a news bit on the front page, and on it they're like:

"Yeah, look at our students. They came in despite the recent amount of snow. Here are the lame-arse pictures to prove it. WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN! ISN'T OUR SCHOOL GREAT?!"....

"Um, no. Your school isn't. The only reason you had students in was because they had exams, and if they didn't attend, your school would get so fucked over by every one."

& what I hate the most on that website is the slide show that has 73 photos in to "show off the school"...every picture angers me. Especially the one when there's about 8 kids surrounding the headteacher, looking like they're having a right old laugh and a good old chat. Who the fuck does that? No one likes they're headteacher. It's so fake, so what's the point in putting it up? Because that's not showing off the school. It's just showing that the school is filled with liars.

98% of the pictures are just kids looking like they're having too much fun in their lessons.

No one likes school. No one likes work. No one likes lessons.

What also disappoints me is the fact that they don't even have the school curriculum on the website yet. I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO READING IT. Bastards...

Anyway. That's my rant over. & I'm allowed to rant because I went to John Mason, so I've experienced how shit the school is. :D

Lololol.

Heart, Zoe. x

Imagine all the people.

2010-01-08T22:57:00.002Z

Seems college is open tomorrow. Goddamn it. I hope they decide in the morning that it's not. I just need one more day to do my work, and it will be fine!

Sigh.. I shouldn't complain. I've had so long to do my work, but I'm just so lazy and unmotivated. I love college, but the written work just seems like so much effort to do.

Haha. I'm terrible.

I didn't go to Bristol in the end. So wasn't worth the risk. Well..actually...it probably would be, but it wouldn't be sensible. :)

I miss Stephen so much. I'm seeing him next weekend though, so that makes me happy.

Also! Drew's coming down on 15th of February for a visit! So that's something to put in my diary and to really look forward to. :)

I don't really know what kind of mood I'm in at the moment. I don't want college tomorrow. I want to sleep until 1:30pm, please. :)

Oh well...

Keep Formspring-ing me. :) I like answering all your questions, haha.

Bed time for me now.

Heart, Zoe. x

I could get used to you.

2010-01-05T17:37:00.001Z

Yo, dawgsss.

It's snowing atm, which is pretty awesome as that means that college might be shut tomorrow, which gives me an extra day to do my log book. :D

I'm really cold though, which isn't so good. I need more plugs in my room as I can't have my heater going and my laptop charging at the same time, as there isn't enough plugs. It's annoying. >.<

This blog is mainly just a quick one to say that I just made a formspring, just for shits and giggles, you know...

There should be a widget on you right... like...

---------------->

Over there. :)

The URL to it is:

http://formspring.me/ohaizoe

So go and ask me whatever you want. :) Don't care what it is. It's just for funsies! :D

I'm now going to make a cup of tea to try and warm up now. :)

BYES.

Heart, Zoe. x

You suddenly complete me.

2010-01-02T01:38:00.004Z

Happy new year, and all that!

I should be in bed as I have work tomorrow, but this fucking cold that I have is keeping me awake, so I thought I would write on here to waste some time.

New year's was okay. I went to Alex's, but because I was feeling so ill and tired, I wasn't really in the "party" mood. But, y'knowwwww. New year's doesn't really excite me very much, which is a shame really. It's just a reminder that you've got twelve months until Christmas and about six months until summer, which are obviously the best times of the year. Nothing good happens in January. Nor February for that matter. (Apart from Pancake Day and if your birthday's in either of those months). It's just cold and boring and every day feels like a Monday. The year only starts to feel good about...April time.

Anyway, I should probably stop complaining. xD

I'm going out for a meal tomorrow night with Stephen. I'm reeeeeally looking forward to it. It'll definitely be the best end to one of the best holiday's I've had in a reeeeeally long time. It's going to be all nice and romantic and I get to dress up and it'll just be the two of us and it will be fun. :)

He's going back to Bristol on Sunday. Boo. :( & then it's time I think I actually started my Cyrano log book and other shit I need to do before I go back to college next Wednesday. Oops. I've been so lazy this Christmas. Bad Zoe.

Bed time anyway, me thinks. I'm going to force a shit load of nasal spray up my nose and stick one of those nasal strips on my nose and look reeeeeally attractive. ;)

Oh, and my brother's gotten me into Eastenders. Eeeeep!

Heart, Zoe. x

Love came down at Christmas.

2009-12-27T17:11:00.002Z

So, it was Christmas like...two days ago. :)

Christmas was pretty awesome this year. I got some nice stuff and Stephen also came round for about an hour or so. :)

My presents consisted of:

From parents - DVD player, purple trackies, purple cardigan, bras, Lindt santa, giant chocolate coin, 2010 diary, deodorant, face wipes, nail varnish, mascara, green eye liner, pyjamas, boot slippers and £20. :)

From Ashley - Weebl's Stuff calender. ;D

From my Nan and Gramps - A Twining's gift set, consisting of a mug, Twinings hot chocolate and a mini hot water bottle. :)

From my Uncle - A compact mirror. :)

From Ross - Some mittens and a bracelet. :)

From Rory - An anchor necklace and a Spongebob poster. ;)

From Ruth - Gok Wan beauty gift set. :)

From Stephen - A clock necklace, a book called "Ugly Shy Girl" and a bag. :) <3

From Stephen's parents - An Impulse gift bag and £15. :)

All in all, it was good. :) I was quite lucky this year.

I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and Boxing day. I spent yesterday evening with Stephen's family and looking at old photos of him, and then watching The Inbetweeners for about three hours. xD

It's so nice to have him home. :) He's made my Christmas the best ever.

I love being so in love with him.. :)

Jack's 18th party tonight. Gonna be sick. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Love me, love me.

2009-12-21T18:59:00.003Z

Stephen's home for Christmas now.

Usually, I go on about how I want time to fly by, but this time, I don't. I want these next two weeks to go as slowly as possible.

I want to savour them.

Christmas is in four days. I am excited. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Goodbye waves and driveways.

2009-12-17T20:55:00.002Z

Right now, things are pretty fucked up. I could explain it, but I think it's safer if I don't.

I've never been in fear for my life before. Not knowing what could happen. All of these scenarios play in your mind, and each one gets worse and worse.

Right now, every second, minute, hour are precious. I'm not saying that 'I'm spending them as if they're my last', because I'm not really. Since last night, I've spent them just as I usually would; watching TV, playing DS, listening to music.. You know.

What else can I do? Bungee jump?...

I suppose that I'm surviving. My family and I all are right now, I guess, but I fucking hope that it stays that way...

I love you all. Don't forget that, please.

Heart, Zoe. x

Waiting.

2009-12-16T23:44:00.002Z

I basically just wrote this.

Writer's block has been with me for a while now, but I suppose it's just decided to leave me for a while to.... get a cup of tea or something.

-----------------------------------------

I called out in to the heavy storm
and I watched patiently
for your silhouetted form
to come home.

And I waited, and I waited,
and I waited some more.
But it took a while for your
silhouetted form to
find it’s way through the heavy storm.

I could wait a thousand days for you.
& a million more if I really had to.

Distance isn’t an issue
when I know that my heart and soul
have you,
and that you are my own.

But, please...
Hurry up and come home.

-----------------------------------------

Heart, Zoe. x

Kiss me.

2009-12-15T15:47:00.002Z

It was the last day of college today, which is wicked as now I get lots of lay-ins. Apart from on Saturdays, of course, as I have work. & on the four extra days I said I would do.

Ahh. Sometimes I think I'm crazy doing extra days at work, but then I think of all of the money I will get. ;D Yay for moneyz.

I saw Stephen yesterday, which was fucking amazing. He came down on Sunday night and left this morning, for personal reasons that I don't think I should start spouting here on my blog. But anyway, he came round yesterday and we had fun times just listening to music, watching Russell Howard and just being our usual selves.

He's coming down for Christmas in six days, and I can't fucking wait. Christmas with him is going to be amazing. The best Christmas yet. :)

I've still got a bit of Christmas shopping to do. I got most of it done on Sunday, bar a few things, but I can get them in the week.

Jamie's coming home on Thursday too, which is awesome. :)

Good mood at the moment, apart from the fact that my arm aches because of my jab. Having dead cancer shoved into your arm isn't my idea of 'fun'... but oh well. :)

I just felt like I should write something, as I haven't in a while.

I hope you're all feeling as Christmassy as I am right now. :)

Write soon.

Heart, Zoe. x

Catch the breeze and the winter chills.

2009-12-05T15:29:00.001Z

You do crazy things when you're in love...

*Fingers crossed*

I've been hiding from your compass.

2009-12-02T21:35:00.003Z

I'm feeling a lot better than I have been these last few days. Sunday night, Monday and yesterday were pure hell. But today, I woke up and I wasn't tired, and I managed to go through the day without feeling like I was going to pass out from lack of sleep. Also, my appetite is back and I can stomach more than just cherry tomatoes and nectarines.

I've eaten three punnets of cherry tomatoes in two days. One yesterday and two today.

I am a cherry tomato-eating machine.

Saying all this, my throat still feels like it's made out of sandpaper, and breathing through my nose is difficult. I can deal with that though. I can't deal with no appetite and no sleep...

Today, we went to London to this Theatre Craft thing. We went to it last year, but didn't really take much notice of the important stuff, and only about the free pens and mouse mats. This year, we thought it would be more relevant.

In my honest opinion, it wasn't. There were no stalls at all really, and my workshops were meh. It was a shame really. I thought going might give me a better idea about what I might like to do, but it didn't at all, because there wasn't anything there!
I did, however, get a free pen, chocolate coin, a keyring with a bottle opener on and two triangle highlighters, so I suppose it wasn't all bad. ;P

Tomorrow is Cyrano rehearsals. Blah blah blah. I'm so glad it'll be over in a week and a day, and I know I'm definitely not the only one. ;)

Oh, and to finish this blog; If I see another advert for Band Hero with Taylor fucking Swift on it, singing that shitty song, I will have probably have to throw my TV out the window.

& that goes the same for the Go Compare advert, which I luckily haven't seen in a while, but it wouldn't surprise me if that singing douchefag invades my TV screen again... -.-

Heart, Zoe. x

You only exist when I want you to.

2009-11-30T15:47:00.002Z

I didn't go into college today. I have a horrendous cold and I didn't get any sleep at all last night because of it. I climbed out of bed at 6:30am as I got pretty annoyed with just laying in bed, fidgeting and checking the time every five minutes. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa and woke up at 8:45am and thought there was no way I was going to survive a day of Cyrano rehearsals. I can hardly stay awake during it anyway, even with loads of sleep, let alone without it.

I'm sure I haven't missed much. It's not like I'm a main part in Cyrano. I know all my lines and I know what I'm doing. Plus, I have another two rehearsal days this week, so I'm sure I'll be fine.

I've slept basically all day and just had a nice bath. Thought that might help a bit. I'm still shattered though..

I'm not going to let this cold and lack of sleep ruin my mood though! It's the first of December tomorrow, which means it's officially Christmas time. Also, it's the first day of advent, which also means it's time to open the first window of the advent calender. ;)

This year, I have a Lindt chocolate one. My mum thought she's treat my brother's and I to one. Fucking expensive, but worth it, I'm sure. ;D

It's time for me to get a cuppa tea, dose up on cold & flu tablets and watch endless amounts of Spongebob.

Oh, life.

Heart, Zoe. x

Mavis told the truth. I'm the one for you.

2009-11-29T21:57:00.002Z

Just a few fun things lined up for the next couple of weeks or so:

- Putting up the Christmas tree next Saturday. We never put it up this early, but this year's different. This makes me happy. :) I love putting up the Christmas tree, and now it's definitely going to feel like Christmas!

- Seeing Stephen next Sunday. I'm SO excited. It's nice to know that this time next week, we will be having nice cuddles whilst probably watching Top Gear and drinking tea. :)

- Cyrano's nearly over. That's always good.

- London trip on Wednesday. Free pens! ;D

- End of college on the 15th. :)

- Bristol from the 15th - 18th. :)

CHRISTMAS.

I can't wait. This Christmas holiday is going to be amazing. In fact, pretty much all of December is going to be amazing.

& on the 4th of December, it will have been exactly a year since my first blog. Wows. :)

This is also my 150th post. Wows x2. :)

Lots of things to look forward to! I hope you all have good plans like I do. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

The district sleeps alone tonight.

2009-11-25T23:19:00.002Z

I've just spent the last four hours playing Sims 2. I made many snowmen and got three promotions and had a kid. Life is good in Sim land, especially because I got to make snowmen. xD

No college today, which was good because I needed sleep. I slept from about 1am - 11:30pm. & before that, I had a nap from 8pm - 10:30pm, so I had lots of sleep. I don't think I've properly caught up yet though. I'm still pretty sleepy... :)

I have lots of dance tomorrow. I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. It's a good thing, because our group need lots more lessons to do our contemporary dance, but it's a bad thing because I'm lazy and I can't really be bothered. But oh well! It's got to be done..

I also found out today that I have to be at work at 9am on Saturday for fire training. Blahhh. I hope I get paid for this extra hour at work, because I won't be happy if I have to get up stupidly early and not get paid for it...

& last but not least, I'm seeing Stephen in eleven days. :):) This makes me VERY happy, considering I didn't think I'd be seeing him until the 21st December. & what's even better is that I don't have to go and get a train as he's coming to see me. ;D Makes life much easier for me.

But that one night I get to spend with him will keep me going. It will keep us both going really.

I'm watching Lizzie McGuire. I am cool.

NIGHT. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

One, two, three, four.

2009-11-20T18:03:00.002Z

I am currently in London in the Apple Store. It's quite surreal writing a blog stood up, while I'm surrounded by so many people. I'm with Rory, Ruth and Ross. Rory's on a giant Mac about a metre away from me. Ruth is playing Cooking Mama on an iPod touch just behind me, and Ross is stood with Rory.

We're in London to see Avenue Q. This was my surprise birthday present that they've been planning for about five months. xD I love them all. It was worth the wait. xD

We just thought we would kill some time in here. It's pretty wonderful. Apple have some amazing things. I wish I was rich enough to buy the MacBook that I'm on. Apparently, the pricing for it starts at £799. I thought 'hey, that's not that bad', and then I realised the would 'starting'. I suppose that means, if you want a relatively good one, you'd have to pay at lease £1500. xD Haha.

I'm in a good mood really. This week's been a bit meh, but today's been really good. & even though I know I won't be seeing Stephen for about a month now, due to him having to work on Panto, I'm good. :)

I'm going to finish this now. I just wanted to say hello.

Ross also says hi. :) He's moved from being next to Rory and is now stood with me. Same with Ruth. She's also stood next to me. :P

:) Heart, Zoe. x

Poor baby, all alone.

2009-11-16T23:15:00.002Z

Today didn't go as well as I first thought. It started off well. I ended up waking up at 7:30am and didn't feel tired. I actually got up and made a cuppa tea and breakfast before getting ready. It's nice not having to rush... I don't see that ending up becoming a regular thing though, haha.

Got to college. Judy ended up going crazy because we weren't IN the theatre in our costumes at exactly 9:30am. Then we just did run-throughs of the show all day. It wasn't amazing. No one was happy with any of the performances really.. I'm just hoping that Wednesday and Thursday's shows go okay. :)

Stephen also text me to tell me that he can't ring me any more, because he's run up a £90 phone bill. £60 of that was ringing me. Oops. :( I can't ring him either, because I'm not on contract and I'd have to end up getting credit every week, which I just can't afford, and he doesn't have a landline that works. >.<

We've decided that Skype is the way forward, but God knows when we'll be able to use it..

I'm just hoping it works out really..

I'm not seeing him this weekend either. He has a get-out on Saturday, so he won't have time.

This weekend was fun with him though. :) I must admit.

Oh, and to top it all off, my brace wire and spring has already come out, and I only had them re-wired and tightened for a week. Braces will end up being the death of me..

Sigh. I'm sorry. I've been complaining so much recently. I thought this week was going to be quite good, but I'm not quite sure about that right now.

I have a cuppa tea and I'm just about to watch Family Guy, and then it's bed time, I guess.

I promise I will try and smile, and I promise that my next blog won't be so....moany. We all need to rant every so often though, right?

Heart, Zoe. x

I don't want to be alone tonight.

2009-11-15T22:59:00.003Z

Recently, it's been difficult. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out who the hell I am and who the hell I want to be. There's been so much pressure about "thinking and knowing what you want to do next year", and all I keep thinking is:

"Y'know what? Fuck it.
Fuck worrying.
Fuck stressing.
Fuck deciding.
I honestly and truly don't care.."

I look at the majority of my fellow ND2s and I envy them. Not in a malicious way, but because they know what they want and they put their mind on it and just go for it! They have the drive and the ambition and the motivation to just take a risk and do what they want.

I wish I was like that. I wish I knew what I wanted and wasn't as petrified as I am. I suppose I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to just put myself out there.

& in all honesty, I don't know what I want to do right now. For me, this is do or die. I don't want to waste it on something my heart isn't completely set on.

Next year isn't my year to go off and start fresh like most other people. Next year is about finding out who the fuck I am, because I honestly don't know right now.

But let's put it this way...
TV and DS and fun times with friends and weekends with Stephen and drinking tea and family time in Abingdon seem so much more important. They are the things that make me happy, and the future just makes me stressed and sad.

Which one do you think I'm going to choose?

You have forever.

2009-11-09T23:03:00.001Z

Thank you, Wordboner. You have made my night.

Blood bank.

2009-11-09T21:52:00.002Z

"Well, I met you at the blood bank.

We were looking at the bags.

Wondering if any of the colours

matched any of the names we knew on the tags.

You said: "See look, that's yours;

stacked on top with your brother's.

See how they resemble one another,

even in their plastic little covers."

& I said "I know it well..""

- Blood Bank by Bon Iver.

You might be just what I need.

2009-11-01T23:06:00.003Z

You are my sunshine.

My only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear,

how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away..

I love him so much. :)

I could feel my eyes turning into dust.

2009-10-26T19:05:00.002Z

I decided that I should probably write a proper blog. I don't have too much to say really, but it's been a while and I don't want you to think that I'm dead or something. :)

It's half term now. I'm working most of it though, but that's not too bad as it gives me something to do, and I get loads of MONEYZZZZ. I need a haircut, so that moneyz will go towards that. :)

Things are okay at the moment really. I have a lot of college work to do that I keep putting off, which isn't good really because the more I put it off, the more fucked I'm going to be... But that still isn't giving me the motivation to start. Oops. :/ Ah well. Cyrano de Bergerac is going to have to wait. I've been playing Scribblenauts and Gardening Mama so much recently, and that seems so much more important... ;)

I didn't get to see Stephen this weekend, which was pretty lame. It's the longest I've gone without seeing him so far, but I'm doing okay. xD I miss him though. I can't wait to see him again... & that will hopefully be this weekend. Fingers crossed.

I spent my weekend with Ross mainly, which was nice as I haven't in a while. :) So it was good really. :) & then we went to Jamz's last night, which was fun. Jamz has lovely dogs and we watched X-Factor and stuff. :)

It was a nice weekend overall. Better than I thought it would be.

I don't really have much to say. Nothing interesting has really happened. Just work and college and the future and Stephen and friends.

The usual. :)

Things are okay. Things are on my mind that make some days difficult, but I try and smile, and it's getting easier. :)

I'll talk to you soon. I'm sorry I'm rubbish at blogging these days.

Heart, Zoe. x

Schnappi.

2009-10-19T23:15:00.007+01:00

My brother showed me this ages ago, and I forgot how amazingly

cute and catchy it is.. :)

Please know that I'm yours to keep, my beautiful girl.

2009-10-15T23:41:00.003+01:00

You are my heart, my mind, my love, my soul, my sun, my rock and my life.

You are my favourite person in the world, and you are so worth it.

You are worth this.

You are worth everything.

I'm incredibly lucky.

You deserve so much happiness in your life, and I'm glad that I'm the one who gives you that.

I love you. So much. Always.

& to prove this, I WILL remember the difference between 'blackmail' and 'bribery'... :)

It's a beautiful day. Now I'll be okay now that you're not away.

2009-10-14T21:46:00.003+01:00

Today has been one of those days where all I've needed is Stephen, and it's been annoying me that I can't have him..

Not until Saturday night anyway, but that's too far away. I'm a very impatient person when it comes to things like this..

Sigh. :(

BAD mood.

Your life is built on accidents, like meeting me.

2009-10-12T17:22:00.005+01:00

Today is Monday, which means that it's the beginning of a long, ordinary week... Monday's basically over now though and it all went pretty quickly, so I'm hoping that tomorrow and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday all go pretty quickly too. I know I shouldn't waste my time away, but I live for the weekends these days.

Today was okay though. Nothing much to complain about. I had singing in the morning and then a huge break where I ate food and went home and had a big cuppa tea and watched TV until 12:30pm, where I went back to college for the Monday concert thingy... & then I had tutorial, where I had to figure out what to do for the rest of my life, basically...

I don't like this whole 'University / Drama School' thing. I don't like thinking about it at all, and I absolutely hate talking about it to other people. I see others and they have their plans. They know what they want to do and they know that they can do it... but I don't have the drive that most other people do. I wish I did, but I don't. I kind of know what I want to do but I feel like I don't have the confidence to even try? I dunno... It's just very scary. Terrifying.

This is probably the main reason I shouldn't waste my time away. I'm always complaining how I don't want to grow up and how I don't want to do anything and how I just want to stay where I am forever...

I'm just one big hypocrite.

Ahh well... I have a couple of places in mind that look okay. I need to start my personal statement, but that confuses me at the moment. I'm going to get Stephen to help me, considering he's already done one himself...

Sigh. Oh life...

The weekend was nice. :) I had work, which is pretty fun. It was my third time working at Snakes and Ladders, and I'm already doing parties by myself! FUN. :) I basically have to set up each party in the designated room to how the people want it. I then have to greet the children and parents attending the party, and then host it, and then clean up afterwards. I had four on Saturday. It was so tiring... But one of the parents gave me £5 tip for helping! So I'm not complaining. ;D It's fun. I like my job. :)

Stephen then came round. We ate Dominoes and watched Spongebob and other random TV. I love his company. We had some fun times. :) Then on Sunday, we ate the left-over pizza and watched more random TV and then went to his house (in Marcham) for a Sunday roast cooked by his parents. It was nice. :)

Then I saw Enter Shikari with Ross. They were amazing, just as I expected. But some of the people there were bellends and were rude, but that was also expected.. :)

I'm tired though, and have a huge headache.

I want snuggles from Stephen and I want to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I just want everything to be sorted, pleeease!

Basically, I want to be prepared.

It's tea time now.

Heart, Zoe. x

I didn't think you could pull a stunt like that.

2009-10-07T13:25:00.006+01:00

These blogs are becoming less and less regular. I am a fail at blogging now. :( I apologise.

I am currently in bed reading The Cagebirds by David Campton. It's the play that my modern monologue for college is from. It's pretty good actually. A lot more interesting than I thought it was going to be.

Nothing is on TV at the moment either. What ever happened to good day time TV? Even the kids channels have shit all on at the moment. I want Spongebob!... Sigh. Jeremy Kyle will have to do, lol. ;D

I have the day o

ff college today, if you were wondering. It's good really, because I'm extremely ill right now and had the worst nights sleep I've had in a long time last night, because of it. My throat and head are killing me and my nose is all stuffed up. :(

I blame Stephen. It's all his fault that I have it. ;)

I went to go and see War Horse yesterday with college. We went around Covent Garden first and looked around all the shops and watched random street performers beforehand. It was a nice little outing. :) Haa.

War Horse was amazing though. I'd definitely go and see it again. :)

It's the kind of play I would love to be involved in. Sometimes I lose my motivation of this whole 'business' that I seem to have got myself caught up in, but seeing plays like that makes me think:

"Yes, this is exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life."

MEH. I guess we will see...

I'm going to carry on reading that play now. & then I think a good nap is in order. :)

I will write soon, but I don't know when 'soon' is...

Oh, and check out the song 'Blood Money' by Luke Pickett. It's pretty awesome and I'm currently obsessed. :)

Heart, Zoe. x

Oh, how we fall into silence from the sky, and whisper some silver reply.

2009-09-30T20:21:00.003+01:00

It's been a while and I apologise for that. I just haven't really felt like rambling on about my days recently because I just find them quite boring, haha. I just thought I would write anyway to let you know that I am still alive and that I haven't forgotten about you. ;)

All I've been doing recently is college, college, college, college and college. I'm not complaining really, because I like college really. I still haven't properly gotten into it yet, but I'm sure I will very soon. I'm hoping I do anyway... I'm enjoying this week a lot more than last week, which is gooooood. :)

Also, I saw Stephen at the weekend, which was lovely. :) Last week was hell without him, and I was so happy at the weekend. He brightened my week up really...

This week isn't too bad. It's going quickly because I'm trying not to think about the fact that he's not here, and more about the fact that I'm going to see him in three days and things will be great. :) I need to be happy, for the sake of our relationship...

My brother's visiting this week, which is also awesome. I think he's dying my hair for me at some point before he goes back. xD He asked if I wanted it dyed and I was like:

"Yeah, cool beans. :D"

I'll probably just go brown. It's Autumn now so it'll suit that very well. ;D

I don't really have much to say. I'm pretty bored / boring at the moment. I'm listening to Brand New's new album, which is fucking amazing. I would put the TV on but I can't be bothered to get up...

Sigh. Life's so difficult. ;)

Anyway. Yes, I am alive.

Yes, I haven't forgotten about you.

& yes, I am doing okay. :)

I'm hoping it stays that way for a long, long time.

Heart, Zoe. x